32. Sweet 'Meteor of Death' for President?

According to the Washington Times, 13 percent of Americans prefer to be hit by a Sweet Meteor of Death (SMOD) over a Clinton or Trump presidency. An additional 7 percent were “not sure” whether extinction is better than 4 years of either candidate in the White House.

Public Policy Polling reported that “the 'Giant Meteor for President' movement "is
particularly appealing to independent voters.” Furthermore, according to The Hill, “(a) whopping 27 percent of independents support the Giant Meteor, compared to 31 percent supporting Trump and 35 percent Clinton.”

Sweet Meteor of DeathIn September, a reporter from the Daily Caller caught up with SMOD as it orbited the Earth and asked for its reaction to the polls. The giant meteor was shocked the numbers were so low, but it expressed confidence that they would go up since there is “a lot of demand for a candidate who promised global mass extinction.”

In a recent press release, SMOD stated its other qualifications:

FBI Investigations: 0
Fraud Lawsuits: 0
Slush Funds Posing as Charities: 0
Neo-Nazi Retweets: 0
Husbands named Bill Clinton: 0

SMOD did have one concern, however. “I am only going to be in the Earth's atmosphere for 0.04 seconds before impact, but I'm still worried Bill Clinton will try to have sex with me.” Of course, the Republican nominee might beat him to it.

With 33,500 followers on Twitter, which it joined in December 2014, SMOD's popularity has continued to grow under the banner “Still better than the other alternatives.”

Even Hillary gave SMOD a backhanded acknowledgement. In a recent New York Times article, she stated, “I'm the last thing standing between you and the Apocalypse.”
SMOD considered the statement to be a serious miscalculation on Hillary's part since it alienates the pro-apocalypse voter.

Meanwhile, SMOD prudently continues its outreach efforts. SMOD promises to ease the pain of annihilation by legalizing marijuana beforehand, and it declares itself to be a God-fearing meteor.

We're not much for partisan politics, but we think you'll agree SMOD is the right choice for the challenges we face. So please join us and get your 'SMOD 2016' yard sign today!

 

SMOD for President 2016 yard sign

 

 

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