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Whiskey & Wry — libertarian t shirt

42. Riding high over the fiscal cliff

Congress giving away billions in national lands! Toads falling in plague swathsfrom the lightning-streaked sky! Mayan temples cracking open to disgorge clouds of ancient killer bees! ANDY DICK TO STAR IN YET ANOTHER 'INSPECTOR GADGET' SEQUEL! These and other made-up, apocalyptic headlines accompanied this article in the Guardian. The column highlights a plan by the often-worthy-of-derision Bureau of Land Management (BLM) to "give away Americans' birthright" in the form of federal land. "Republicans have overwritten the value of federal lands, easing the path to disposing of federal property even if doing so loses money for the government and provides no demonstrable...

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38. The circus has left town - or has it?

It's the end of an era, folks. This week marks the permanent closure of an antiquated production known for its gaudy spectacle, showmanship, and cruelty. Yes, that's right — say good-bye to the Clinton Foundation. Having lost the presidency, Bill and Hillary now lack a vehicle for influence peddling, so they're shutting down their controversial foundation. Wait, no, that's not what this post is about. After 146 years of successfully preventing riots by pissed-off elephants and instilling a deep-seated fear of clowns in generations of young people, Ringling Brothers is calling it quits. We'll miss cramming ourselves onto cold, merciless, back-breaking...

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36. 2016 — Fat, drunk, and stupid?

When historians consider the events of the past year, they're certain — and we do mean certain — to anoint 2016 as the "Most 'Animal House' Year" of the new millennium. On its way in the door, 2016 hit the punch bowl hard, snorted dismissively at the relative sanity of 2015, and hollered, "To-ga! To-ga! To-ga!" Wrapped in a bedsheet with a lampshade on its head, 2016 started off with a bang when a naughty North Korea launched a banned missile over howls of protest from the neighbors upstairs. In June, the United Kingdom voted to leave the drunken party known...

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33. Blame Canada

A familiar election cry: “If X wins, I'm moving to Canada!” But, if X = Trump, then a migration becomes more likely. And Canadians are wriggling cold toes in anticipatory delight at a possible flood of greenbacks and celebs. The “Cape Breton if Donald Trump Wins” site was so inundated by American queries that immigration lawyers now offer free advice to ride an expected bonanza of business. Nova Scotia's official travel agency, Destination Cape Breton, is assisting the beleaguered website which was intended as a prank. The dating service Maple Match is now arranging for unwed Canadians to hook up...

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28. George Carlin on Voting

“If voting made any difference, they wouldn't let us do it.”— Mark Twain, or Emma Goldman, or Philip Berrigan ... Take your pick!  What do Mark Twain and the anarchists have in common? Apart from being credited with the same quote, they knew the electoral process was a rigged circus. Because he passionately blended stand-up with anti-voting, comedian George Carlin was called a closet anarchist ... which would explain why he dressed in black. With a choice of “Donald v. Hillary,” non-voting is poised to soar and non-voters will be excoriated once again as "irresponsible." They need the Carlin Defense....

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